I was looking at a little bit of drama from Facebook and trying to make logical sense of it. People get offended over the most trivial of things, it seems. It doesn't even occur to me to think that way, because frankly, I'm well enough in control of myself that I can tell when someone's being petty or when someone has actual feedback. I don't take into account things like low self esteem, which instantly makes people think that any negative thing said is said about them. Of course, I also don't take into account things like egotism, where people are so self-centered that everything must be about them.
Let's start off with the Internet itself. It's a hotbed of trolls and anonymity, people who think they can just crap in someone else's cornflakes for the simple reason that no one knows who took the crap, just a faceless nickname on 4-chan. Even among friends, people will take that lack of face-to-face interaction to be a bit more brutally honest than they might have been in person, or else they can use their Facebook or Twitter to post some vague passive-aggressive comment about someone they may or may not be irritated at. I must admit, it's easy to get caught up in the anonymity of it all. It's easy to pop on Facebook and complain about something that other people might have a personal investment in, even if you don't get why they do. Guilty! It's easy to vent off things that are bugging you in hopes of a sympathetic comment here and there. What becomes problematic is when all of the above become your only reason for posting anything anymore.
This leads to the primary issue: self esteem. The Internet is a fantastic place for people who are unhappy with themselves and/or their lives. I have noticed a few categories. There's the Trolls, the Sad Pandas, and the Divas. As much as I hate generalizing, this is just on my observation, and I do occasionally fit into the latter two categories myself. Hell, would I have my own blog like this if I wasn't some kind of diva?
Trolls will use the anonymity of the Internet to bully other people, because let's face it, the Internet is like a gigantic virtual playground for them to smack to the easy targets to make themselves feel better. Perhaps they like to find a popular Internet radio show and give the hosts some hell. Maybe they like to find random people who might not be so web-savvy and hack 'em or send them oodles of porn email. They could be the cyber-stalker, becoming obsessed with someone and trying to track every instance of the target's life. In my opinion, all of this comes from some sort of low self esteem. They're displeased with their own life and so try to create a false sense of power by attacking someone "weaker" than they are. Cyber-bullying, that's it. It's really pitiful. The best way one can deal with these people is to deny them any attention, because trust me, that's all they're looking for: the attention they're not getting offline.
Now for our Sad Pandas. Trust me when I say some of this comes from my own experience. The Sad Pandas might be stuck in a mundane job, might like to lose themselves in fantasy. They might live with their parents, stuck under the thumb of another and feel powerless. These are people who greatly want a boost, a little outside help to make them feel better. Maybe they're lonely, unhappy with some aspect of their life, and want to know that things will improve someday, or that they're not responsible for the way their life is at this time. I really don't know as I only have myself to go on and a few other people. But they post on their Facebooks and Twitters about how life sucks, about how they're in a rut, about things they could be doing something about, but won't. Then friends flock to them and tell them it's okay, that things will be better, and they're encouraged, but the feeling wears off and they post again in hopes that feeling will return. A little like an addiction, I think.
Now, I do admit that sometimes, something really crappy happens and you need to let it out, or you do really need some encouragement. There comes a time, however, when instead of once or twice during moments of personal tragedy, ALL of your posts become some sort of continuous string of "poor me" and "my life sucks". I am guilty of this! I freely admit it! And I'm not telling people not to post whatever they want on their Internet outlet of choice, I'm simply making an observation. It seems to me that a dose of offline control would directly affect what happens online.
Last but never least, the Divas. Sometimes it's a bit more of the Sad Panda cranked up into a truly Shakespearean tragedy level. Sometimes it's someone living every aspect of their life online. Now here's where it gets tricky. I know plenty of Divas who have great lives, are totally happy with themselves and their lives, and they want the whole world to know how awesome their life is. That's great! Good for you! I do also know some people who do it for validation. Perhaps this is what you think your redeeming quality is, or perhaps you've done something so good that you feel the need to have other people recognize it. Does the recognition feel good? Damn right, it does! Does it give an otherwise crappy outlook a bit of a brighter boost? Yep! Are you really the center of the universe? Nope, but it feels good to be there even if it's for a few seconds. Really, how many people just want approval from the people whose opinions matter to them?
Now as this is my blog, I'm going to bring it back to me. Yep, I'm the Diva now. I totally have a fame craving, but that's because drawing attention to myself will hopefully draw attention to my work. A little fame never hurt when you're trying to market yourself and your skills. Of course, I don't think I have much of an Internet filter because of the anonymity factor and that I really do have a high opinion of my friends. I don't take self esteem issues into account because I don't see a reason to have it as an on-going issue. I do have "poor me" days where I feel like poop and want some love, and then those days online are just irritating because it pops up at least once that maybe this complaint from some random person is about me, but really, the world is NOT all about me. It's not all about any of us. It's really about all of us. I think the moment that we realize what we're doing and why we're doing it will empower us far more than bullying someone else, looking for a pity party, or probing for the validation we really should be giving ourselves.
J
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